This is How It Feels to Be Held

I prayed tonight about my friend who's light is flickering. I think I will go by tomorrow and visit him between our church services.

Sometimes I still wrestle with God over how things are not in my control, how even though I am linked with the God of All Creation, Etc., I still don't get to call all the shots. Another soul is on its own trajectory, and I have been invited to walk alongside for a few brief steps. I can't change anything except I can change everything. I can offer one more heart than he had before.

There was a time in my life when the circumstances of ministry made this a common experience for me, for years. It has been awhile, and in the meantime I have grown older, more aware of how precious a soul is, how fleeting life is. And in the last couple of years I have seen three friends I loved, one whose presence I cannot remember being without in my life, move on.

For reasons also not in my control, God gave me a gift to love this new friend. As a result, I'm sad that we will likely not have much more time together on this side of the veil.

It doesn't seem to matter whether it is a friend I have loved all my life or one whom I met recently but who has touched my heart; there is grieving involved. Grieving is the field where the mortal and eternal meet. Some rending is required both on the part of the one leaving and those left behind. The illusion is that a connection will be severed. The truth is that the connection will be stronger. It just takes a while to get to that understanding, and head-knowledge of it is of no use. The heart must figure it out.

It helped me tonight to listen repeatedly to Natalie Grant's rendition of the song, "Held," with it's profound chorus:

"This is what it means to be held
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was that when everything fell
We'd be held."

As will he. As will I. As will all who have loved him longer than me.

We will all be held.

Blessings,
David