When I left the nursing home this morning after attending my friend's death, I drove to the running track where we train on Monday and Thursdays. I was dressed in what my friend jokingly calls my "priest tuxedo" - black slacks, sandals, and a shirt with a Roman collar. Not the usual wear for a training run.
I arrived about 7:30 a.m. and began to walk the track while awaiting my coach's arrival for our scheduled 8:00 a.m. training.
It was a grace to be in this familiar place doing this familiar thing, laps on the track, even though I was just walking. I didn't have to do anything but follow the lanes and just be. The similarity to a labyrinth was not lost one me. This, I thought, is my labyrinth.
The coach arrived and understood when I explained the events of my evening and my decision to go home and get a nap. We walked about a mile or so together, and somewhere along the way my sandal broke. When you wear out the sandals you generally wear when ministering, it's probably time to see how the rest of you is doing. After walking barefoot for about 1/4 of a mile, I headed home and he began his planned workout.
I took a nap, a wonderful, deep, out-like-a-light nap. When I woke, I felt better but not totally refreshed. In the past week, there have been a lot of extra activities, including visits to my dying friend. I have a busy life in general; this week has been more-so than usual. There is personal restoration to do.
I called the people I had scheduled for the afternoon, and asked if they would mind moving their appointments to tomorrow afternoon instead. They understood and accommodated the change. I cleared my evening, too, deciding just to take care of my needs today.
So I took a day off, and much to my ego's dismay, the world did not stop turning, the sun did not quit shining, and the Milky Way did not collapse upon itself into a giant black hole.
Tomorrow will be a busy day, and Saturday will be a busy day, and Sunday will be a busy day, and on and on. I'll be ready for them, because today I listened to my mind, my heart, my soul and my body. We can only give what we have to give.
Take care of yourself. When your shoes wear out, take a nap. The world will keep turning.
The song "Come with Me into the Fields" by Dan Schutte came to mind. It is based on Matthew 9:37. Let's close with his words instead of mine.
The fields are high and summer's days are few;
green fields have turned to gold.
The time is here for the harvesting,
for gathering home into barns.
The harvest is plenty; laborers are few.
Come with me into the fields.
Your arms may grow weary; your shoes will wear thin.
Come with me into the fields.
The seeds were sown by other hands than yours;
nurtured and cared for they grow.
But those who have sown will not harvest them;
the reaping will not be their care.
The harvest is plenty; laborers are few.
Come with me into the fields.
Your arms may grow weary; your shoes will wear thin.
Come with me into the fields.
pace e bene
David+
thoughts of an American Orthodox Catholic priest on encountering the power of one little grace
Showing posts with label HALT. Show all posts
Showing posts with label HALT. Show all posts
Thursday, August 16, 2012
Thursday, August 25, 2011
And lead us not...
Gee, for no reason at all I seem to be thinking about temptation. Or, perhaps, I just encountered it. Maybe. Possibly. It could happen. I know; you're shocked, but get over it.
Sometimes temptation appears unexpectedly. Someone makes a remark, a billboard uses a seductive picture, something is lying on the street. You cannot always predict when and how temptation may show up, right?
Actually, I think temptation is rarely ever unexpected. After all, those same things may not have any affect on another day. Temptation is only temptation if I'm in the mood to be tempted, and whether or not I am in the mood to be tempted depends on how much attention I am paying to maintaining my spirituality in a healthy way. While grace is there as a safety net, and I'm glad it is, spiritual maintenance is largely a proactive practice.
If I have an intention to remain in grace, there are ways for me to support that intention. Regular and intermeittent prayer, supportive friends, positive music, and so on. If I'm "paying intention," I'm on the path.
Challenges occur when I'm not paying intention, when I'm bored, or as the 12-step groups put it, in those "HALT" moments (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired). If I qualify for one or more of those, I need to address it quickly and resolve the problem.
I have a prayer, though, for those moments of temptation, a slight twist on a classic. Temptation is not a problem unless I begin to consider why I deserve to engage in something, or why it won't hurt anyone, or why it will go unnoticed. So my prayer is:
"And lead me not into rationalization, but deliver me from my thinking. Amen."
God usually has better ideas than I do, especially in those moments!
Blessings,
David
Sometimes temptation appears unexpectedly. Someone makes a remark, a billboard uses a seductive picture, something is lying on the street. You cannot always predict when and how temptation may show up, right?
Actually, I think temptation is rarely ever unexpected. After all, those same things may not have any affect on another day. Temptation is only temptation if I'm in the mood to be tempted, and whether or not I am in the mood to be tempted depends on how much attention I am paying to maintaining my spirituality in a healthy way. While grace is there as a safety net, and I'm glad it is, spiritual maintenance is largely a proactive practice.
If I have an intention to remain in grace, there are ways for me to support that intention. Regular and intermeittent prayer, supportive friends, positive music, and so on. If I'm "paying intention," I'm on the path.
Challenges occur when I'm not paying intention, when I'm bored, or as the 12-step groups put it, in those "HALT" moments (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired). If I qualify for one or more of those, I need to address it quickly and resolve the problem.
I have a prayer, though, for those moments of temptation, a slight twist on a classic. Temptation is not a problem unless I begin to consider why I deserve to engage in something, or why it won't hurt anyone, or why it will go unnoticed. So my prayer is:
"And lead me not into rationalization, but deliver me from my thinking. Amen."
God usually has better ideas than I do, especially in those moments!
Blessings,
David
Labels:
angry,
grace,
HALT,
hungry,
lonely,
rationalization,
temptation,
tired
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)