"Right Now" - Bright Light Parade

I was mowing the lawn, minding my own business, listening to my mp3 player (yes, I am a dinosaur who does not own an iPod), when the song "Right Now" by Bright Light Parade began to play.

I was captivated by the lyric, "I've realized there's more to life than hiding from what's inside."

In the context of the song, it speaks to allowing myself to express my love for God without concern for the opinion of others, to quit covering that up or excusing it.

None of us get there without first admitting what's inside that blocks this free expression.

Maybe we call it the Shadow, or Original Sin, or Illusion. I don't care what we call it, just that we see it.

There is a Me that I live with every day, and a Me that I want people to think I am. Like St. Paul, I say, "I want to do what is good, but I don't. I don't want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway." (Romans 7:19, New Living Translation [NLT])

So it is and so it will be as long as I do not invite God into that part of me. This is part of human nature. Scarecly a few passages into the Hebrew Bible, people are beginning to try to hide things from God. We read about Adam, "Then the LORD God called to the man, 'Where are you?' He replied, 'I heard you walking in the garden, so I hid. I was afraid because I was naked.'" (Genesis 3:9-10, NLT)

What a great cosmic joke it is for us to say God is all-seeing, all-knowing, and ever-present, and yet to think we could hide our nakedness, our realness, from God. God seems to play along, asking, "Where are you?" like a parent playing hide and seek with a child who covers his eyes thinking if he cannot see, he cannot be seen.

God has already seen our nakedness.

So, no more hiding what's inside. No more trying to cover up, medicate, numb, or compartmentalize it all away from God. We build a fortress of behavior and pretense around our weaknesses, which only locks us inside with them. No more pretending it doesn't exist! My part in the human experience is well-established. I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I am flawed.

When I quit hiding from that fact, I can begin to allow God to see it, too, and healing can begin. I can tear down that fortress, but it can only be done from the inside.

"I've realized there's more to life than hiding from what's inside."

Pace e bene,
David +

Thank You, God,
for this day and all it held,

for the moments when I stepped aside
and let You love through me
and for the moments when I stepped in the way,
and learned the difference between the two.

Thank You, God,
for this day and all it held,

for the creativity expressed
and the resistance to change,
for the graciousness extended
and the selfishness retained.

Thank You, God,
for this day and all it held,

for lessons learned,
for lessons unlearned, and
for lessons unobserved.

Thank You, God,
for this day and all it held,

for the times I got it right,
and the times I got it wrong,
for the times I needed to be right,
and for the times I felt I was wronged.

Thank You, God,
for this day and all it held,

for while I was busy trying to figure it all out
You were busy loving me exactly as I am.

Thank You, God.

Blessings,
David